What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked. 
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

 

Why were you late ?
Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
You mean you need to sleep at home too !
 

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse ?" 
"Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down !"

 

Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
Pupil: Dead ?, I didn't even know he was sick !

 

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